Domestic Violence Relationship Questions
Do you wonder if your relationship may be abusive? Ask yourself the questions below. If you answer 'yes' to more than a few, you may want to take a closer look.
Does your partner:
Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:
- Embarrass you with bad names and put-downs?
- Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
- Control what you do, whom you see, whom you talk to, or where you go?
- Stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
- Prevent you from getting or keeping a job?
- Take your money, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?
- Make all the decisions?
- Expect you to be perfect and to fulfill every need?
- Blame you for problems and mistakes?
- Tell you that you're a bad parent or threaten to take away your children? Act like the abuse is no big deal, tell you it's your fault, or say it didn't happen?
- Destroy your property?
- Threaten to hurt or kill your pets?
- Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
- Shove you, slap you or hit you?
- Force you to drop criminal charges that you have filed?
- Threaten to hurt or kill your children?
- Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
- Threaten to kill you?
- Expect you to serve, obey and remain at home?
- Admit to hitting partners in the past?
- You express your opinions less and less freely. You feel as if you are walking on eggshells, and must be very careful of when and how to say something.
- You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your partner to emerge.
- You find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior.
- You feel emotionally unsafe. You feel it is not okay to talk with others about your relationship. You hope things will change...especially through your love and understanding.
- You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of reality.
- You doubt your own judgment.
- You doubt your abilities.
- You feel vulnerable and insecure.
- You are becoming increasingly depressed. You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
- You have been or are now afraid of your partner.
- Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.
If any of these apply to you, you may be in an abusive relationship.
Call this free, confidential hotline:1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Reprinted and revised with permission from the Family Violence Prevention Fund.